Tuesday, March 6, 2012

52 in 52 wk 10 -- my prayer

Show me Your ways, O Lord, and teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truths and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long. Remember, O Lord, Your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to Your love remember me, for You are good, O Lord.
Psalm 25:4-7

In the back of my Bible, I've listed scriptures that meant something to me with a snid bit of what they said to the side. Sometimes I like to just go down the list and read the passages that God used to teach me during different points in my life.

This week's verse comes from this list in one of my Bibles. Beside it, I had written, "my prayer."

It is my prayer that God would reveal to me His ways, His will, and His path for my life. I don't always take this route, and that usually ends up with me once again realizing my humanly sinful nature. However, God's love is overwhelming and He welcomes me with open arms when I realize my stupidity, my rebellious ways.

My prayer is that God would teach me through these times and draw me ever closer to Him. And He has been. For that I am outrageously thankful.

So, a quick(ish) 52 in 52 story for you -- I've mentioned that I can't exactly rattle off every single verse that I've memorized so far without some sort of list of the references. However, it's amazing how God brings certain scripture to mind right when I need it!

I sometimes I feel overwhelmed at work with all of the new programs we've been implementing in our classrooms this year. I sometimes feel like I'm drowning as I try to master one program and at the same time start up a brand new one that I've never done before. They're great programs, but it takes me a bit to figure out how it fits into my classroom and what it will look like with my teaching style.

Well, today was one of those days. I was trying to figure out how to integrate this particular program into my math curriculum, and I was quickly sucked into this mind set that I can't do it, I'm not that great of a teacher, and there was no way I would be able to manage this program and have the students be successful at it. And at the same time, I was putting packets together for my students to take home to start the at-home portion...and I was thinking, "Why am I even putting these together?! We won't be able to do this!!"

And then God stilled me. He silenced me and brought one of my 52 in 52 scriptures to mind.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. And we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

God has given me a passion for teaching for a reason. He has placed me in this classroom for a purpose. And in this moment, I had to remind myself that my insecurities were not from Truth. The source of my frustrations were not brought from the knowledge of God's hand in my life. They were from satan and his evil schemes to knock me on my rear so I feel like a failure.

As I sat there, I repeated this scripture in my mind several times, tried my hardest to capture these thoughts and feelings of being not good enough, and then I carried on with my day. My students were excited about the homework they were assigned as part of the program, and I sort of felt better about the program.

Although I can't recall each verse without a list of the verses I've memorized, God is definitely using them in my daily life, which really is the point after all. :) I want to hide His Word in my heart so that I can use it in my walk to be encouraged, lead, and reminded of His very real presence in my life.

That's what it's really all about.


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